• A B C D E F G H I J K L M N 0 P R S T U V Y
  • A B C D E F G H I J K L M N 0 P R S T U V Y
  • Friday, 30 August 2013

    What if my child has difficulty saying good-bye when I leave him?

    Many children, especially those three years old and under, have
    a difficult time leaving their parents. Your child may want to say 
    good-bye several times, or she may cry. Don’t threaten her or say, 
    “Be good and stop crying,” or “Be a big girl.” She needs support, 
    not pressure. You might be able to eliminate some of her anxiety 
    by letting her bring along a favorite toy or blanket. Try arriving at 
    school fifteen minutes early so you can spend more time with her 
    before you go. Or give her a special little treat when she gets in the 
    car, or a “love” note or picture to carry into school with her.

    You should not try to sneak out of the school without saying 
    good-bye, even if you think such an action might keep your child 
    from crying. Eventually she’ll notice you’re gone and may become 
    frightened and upset. Although it’s painful to see your child cry as 
    you go, you should still say good-bye to her. You might feel better 

    if you wait outside the classroom door, listening for a few minutes 
    until she’s calmed down. 

    As time goes by, she may continue to have trouble leaving you at 
    the school door. Children two years old and younger don’t understand 
    that you’ll return, no matter how often you tell them. This 
    may make them anxious in the morning, and off and on throughout 
    the day. Consult with your child’s teachers. They may be able to 
    help by giving your child extra comfort and reassurance and getting 
    her involved in activities. 

    Will I see changes in my child’s behavior when he 
    goes to school or day care? 

    It might take your child a few weeks to adjust to school or day 
    care, and during that time you may see some changes in behavior, 
    such as bed-wetting, nightmares, decreased appetite, more frequent 
    whining, and reluctance to go to school. Getting used to a program 
    is more difficult for some children than others, but most children are 
    affected in some way during the early days of a new situation. You’ll 
    have to be patient and understanding as your child adjusts. 

    If, after several weeks, she’s still showing behavioral changes 
    and seems unhappy, talk to her teachers, and stay to observe the 
    program. You might even drop in unexpectedly to see how she 
    is and to try to find out why she isn’t enjoying herself. As you 
    watch her, ask yourself the following questions: Does she seem to 
    have friends she enjoys? Is she one of the youngest children in the 
    group? (If she is, she may feel less confident and accepted.) Is she 
    getting enough attention from her teachers? If the program seems 
    inappropriate, take her out and find a better one. But if you’re 
    unsure, wait a bit before making your decision. Your child just 
    might need an extra amount of understanding and time to adjust 
    to day care or school.